Every season I look forward to the last trip of the season. I love that my husband loves his job. I love my husband’s job. I just don’t love how much of Riv’s life Ben has missed.
This season has been the hardest one ever. They are always hard for me because my anxiety intensifies and depression creeps in due to the loneliness. This season I haven’t been lonely, but truly overwhelmed. I have mentioned to more than one person that somehow in the planning of our family I “forgot” how much I would be on my own with our baby. I was quite simply just overjoyed & excited about the concept to the point that I never stopped to think how hard it would be.
It was no big deal over summer when I had all day at home with Riv to get just one load of diaper laundry done. Balancing work & Riv & diaper laundry & showers & teacher clothes laundry & work meetings & nap schedules & sleep for myself… I just haven’t figured out how to balance it all.
To be honest, I wouldn’t be functioning on the level that I currently am without my mom. She has been a lifesaver in all of this craziness for us. We are truly lucky to have her taking care of Riv during the day while I am at work. He loves her so much and I love to see his face light up & hear his excited squeal every time she comes to our house.
Ben will be calling me tomorrow as his last trip of the season ends at Lake Mead.
He will take his last ride of the season in the semi back to the warehouse.
He will pack away his gear after the last trip of the season.
Then he will come home to his family. <3